Pregnancy

My reason for this whole thing! Pregnancy.

Pregnancy for me can be put into one neat word. Horrific. I know many women complain about aches, morning sickness, fatigue and such. For me pregnancy is something more sinister. Sensory overload is more of what I experience for most of the nine months.

I have every symptom of pregnancy coupled with the inability to handle any sensory input.

Smells cripple me.

Lights of any kind along with most sounds give me instant headaches.

I cannot move my eyes to any extreme aside from straight on.

Movement and food nauseates me.

Lying in a dark quiet room, feeling the sheets against my skin hurt.

So what do you do when you cannot do anything? Well for starts, I lost around 20 pounds.

My second pregnancy was different but much of the same. But this time I had a two year old and I was in school. God bless my wonderful husband, who picked up the slack and took over every aspect of my life. He even typed up my papers because I could not look at a computer screen.

Sadly I had no idea what SPD was during my first pregnancy and knew little of it during my second. It was not until I graduated that I really began looking at myself in regards to my own issues.

As I consider growing my family, the dark cloud hangs low over my head. Can I go through that again, now with two children? Do I love children enough to do this several more times? I know more about sensory and how to create a sensory diet, along with lots of occupational therapy tricks. Will that be enough to get me through nine months of torment?

Lots of questions!

I began my quest of body discovery. First I began with getting in shape and gaining control over my body.

Then I started researching SPD in adults. Not tons out there but I do work with amazing people who pointed me in good directions.

I also included Heavenly Father in my search. I knew He could direct me to the people I needed to talk to and the places I needed to find.

Pregnancy is what has been my drive to this whole crazy self discovery. My desire for more children has been my motivation to learn more.