A few months ago, as I was out for an evening walk, I decided to run a race. Something big enough to get me the motivation I hadn’t yet found for exercise. I looked up different races in my area and found one decently far enough in the future for me to get ready for. On a whim I registered for the 10k (6 mile) run. I then set to work preparing myself both physically and mentally. I ran track in high school, but I had never run more than three miles in my life. That, with the fact that I hadn’t run anything in seven years plus two kids made this very intimidating.
I would like you to understand this was not some meaningless ‘get in shape’ goal. This was me proving to myself I could. I wanted to get healthy and prove to my body that I was in control. All those times I’d started diets or exercise routines and failed had gotten me to believe my body was in control of my mind. No matter what I wanted, my body always won. It had proven to me that I had little say in what happened. I wanted to lose weight, couldn’t. I wanted to be a good mom, but instead I was often tired, cranky, depressed and low functioning. I frequently felt too yucky to be much good at anything. My body was boss. What it craved it got. I was broken and beaten.
(I was unhealthy and often sick)
This was my chance to set the bar high and rise to meet it or fail again. I was determined not to lose this time. Almost every evening I went to the track to run. Some nights I felt good. Others I really questioned how well this was going. I started feeling like I was doing really good. Even found a friend to go running with me. I cannot express in words the difficulty I had in this two month endeavor. It was one of the hardest things I have done in I very long time. And then I would go out the next night and do it all over again and again and on and on.
The week before the race I was ready to give up. I had gotten sick the weekend before and lost all of my progress. I had reached the six mile mark, and now I could hardly run three miles. Fast forward to race day. My family and I got up early and walked down to the park where my race would start. It was cold and I was very nervous. “On your mark! Get set!” BANG! As the crowd started to spread out, I began to doubt myself. My only goal was to finish this race without having to stop to walk. Not too far of a stretch? Mile one almost made me stop. It was too hard, it was cold, and I did not feel good.
But I began to pray. “OK Heavenly Father. It’s been you and me on the track together for a while now. With your help I know I can do this today.” And then I got to Milhollow Road. For those of you not from near here, that is a road that is uphill for over a mile. As I ran, many people stopped to walk. I passed person after person who had underestimated the difficulty of this hill. (Early on in my training, I discovered that the race would run up Milhollow. I began running it regularly. When race day came, I knew I could run Milhollow, and I knew I could run 6 miles. But I had not yet put the two together.)
I had not brought any music with me. No entertainment for the hour run. God and I, together with nothing to do but talk and listen. Milhollow also is along a ridge that overlooks the valley. As I reached the top and looked out over the sunrise, my whole body felt like light. Not in the weight sense, no, in the sense that I felt like a part of the sunrise. My body was radiating light. I could feel it. It was a very real sensation and extremely personal spiritual experience. To feel like my body was made of pure joy and light is a feeling I never could have imagined. Never have I felt good about my body. It is sick and weak.
I then reached the rolling farm grasslands, high up. A cool breeze blew and I felt all alone with Heavenly Father atop the world. The beautiful green grass was rolling in the wind like waves of the sea. The sun was shining beautiful orange, pink and blue. I completed my race easily for the next three miles. Walking home I felt more than accomplished, I felt in control. For the first time in my life I knew I was in charge, and so did my body. I knew that from now on, even if I made mistakes, I could overcome and live a good and fulfilling life. Something huge had shifted inside of me. This was the turning point for me. At 23 I was finally finding the ability to want more strength than what I had reconciled myself to.
My challenge to you is to look deep inside. Are you in control or are you lost to the drive of your body? If there is some goal you feel just out of your reach, set it! Believe you can reach it! Pray constantly for help and know that God will help you if you ask. Do not give up! You can take control of your life and be the master of your body.
No comments:
Post a Comment